For most of the day it felt like hurricane like clouds covered my Saturday. Just couldn’t shake the feeling. Hate moments like this since it pokes huge holes in my normally sunny personality. I decided to indulge in some food therapy. No pics to show but after indulging in French fries generously covered with melted cheese and dunked in blue cheese dressing, I felt a little better. Wouldn’t you? No guilty feelings there.
On my way back I saw this innocent scene which cheered me up almost as well as my epicurean feast. Outside the restaurant some kids frolicked in the water fixture laughing and giggling so innocently that I wanted to slip off my wedges and join them.
Instead I did what any new age adult would do and took a picture for social media. In my mind though I did run through the water.
I’ve been bonding! Not only this weekend but the entire summer!! Lucky me. No really, lucky me. I’ve entered a very euphoric stage of my relationship with my teenage daughter.
We have been having those intense womanly mother-daughter conversations that usually end with giggles or laugh out loud moments. One of those moments occurred we were sharing our current radio hits (momma has been seriously trying to connect).
“I can’t feel my face, when I’m with you but I love it”. She loves that tune and I’m thinking it’s such a sweet love song. Just found out that the guy was inspired by the drug induced effect of cocaine. What the heck??
We talked about it, she still likes the song, I can’t stop singing the song. She and I will make our own memory enjoying the last sunburst of summer with the sunroof open, wind blowing through our locks while singing at the top of our lungs – but I love you!
She said, “I didn’t want to ignore her, I didn’t want not to love her as much as I should after all, she was my mother”.
These words got me thinking. Being a mom is serious business. It’s more than birthing, more than providing. It’s like tilling the garden, planting the seeds, pulling out weeds from the roots, providing nourishment and support, watching everything grow, protecting from the elements as much as you can then helping them recover after storms pass, and finally blooming to their full potential. Easier on paper, I say. It’s hand holding and lots of hand wringing, it’s the back and forth of chatter (which we finds out sinks in), it’s something simple like that first card from kindergarten saying you’re the most important star in their world.
She loves her mom but as I gently reminded her all gardens are different as are all moms. They do the best that they’re capable of doing which is different for everyone. So many things play into the equation most notably being life with its often bipolar moments. We don’t often have the fictious moms or families portrayed on screens but I believe we can draw inspiration from them and from moms we come across in our daily lives. I treasure those inspirations but the ones I am blessed to guide, lead, love and support are my greatest inspirations. They are my legacy, my heart!
Last week I was fortunate (really) to attend a work seminar. We had been given an assignment beforehand which I thought was intriguing.
“What is your favorite color? What does it mean to you?”
I forgot to mention we had to use 3 descriptive words. Blasphemy! I could think of at least six so I had to narrow it down.
It’s the color RED (writing on my phone so can’t change the color of the font) I chose passionate. Intriguing and sensual. As we went around the room there were a multitude of pinks, a few blues, fewer reds and one eggplant purple.
The purpose of the exercise was to introduce the daily use of more descriptive words when speaking to our clients on the sales floor. I think it also opens dialogue about listening and perception. I may look at an item such as a scent and think it favors something pink which for me is soft, delicate but for another that same pink could be mysterious and bold.
It’s a grey day in my part of the world and as I get ready for the day ahead, I am thinking of the uplifting words I will be using in my conversations today such as energizing, alluring, refreshing and ultimately vibrant as I pray for the sun to come out.
What’s a girl to do! I’m very aware of the current state of affairs in the world and though I am sickened by it, I am choosing not to dwell on it.
You may say I’m selfish and sometimes I may even agree but it’s overwhelmingly grey right now and I’m looking for and struggling to hold on every ray of sunshine I see, every smile that I share, every good I acknowledge in the world.
I send prayers up for those who need it, help out whenever I can and while I’m at it I do ask for strength for myself to persevere through this mucky world and not lose my sanity. I’m not in a funk right now but in the quiet moments when I ponder about the quality of life, I can feel the dark clouds on the horizon.
So I will kiss my hubby, watch a movie with my son, karaoke with my daughter, laugh with my friends, be inspired by awesome people, be thankful for my life while acknowledging that there are bubbles of life all around me. Staying positive and uplifting is my goal.